Recently a neighbour called--in her tone deep sadness, she wanted to relay the devastating news of the death of her sister. New Years Eve, a young family headed out for "first night" togetherness after the eldest children were dropped off at friends. They were hit head on by another vehicle which exploded on impact. The sister, a young mother of four died instantly, her husband was flung from the wreckage landing in a field. Two younger children under 10 years each suffered grievous injury. Today, a family is in crisis. At the time of writing this, one child was in hospital alone and afraid undergoing painful surgery without the reassurance of mother or the strength of father. The other child was at a different hospital, in fact, in another country along with the father undergoing specialized surgery and treatment. All-the-while, the mother's body laid awaiting funeral arrangements that could not be decided upon by extended family. Please pray for these injured souls, the older children and the rest of the family who must handle such a personal 9/11 in their lives.
Grateful Graces
Actually, there are precious few of us who don’t bustle about our lives–rushing from one list of “to dos” directly into another.
The price we pay for such haphazard living is a diminished ability to both live and love in the moment. We pat young children on the head send them off to play so we can finish our chores, work on the computer, watch TV, or read something of interest. Perhaps even a book on how to live better! We tune out a spouse during communication because we’ve heard it all before. Right? Hmmm. I am pretty sure, we didn’t really hear it rambling along in our personal fog vaguely aware of the complaints. “How many times do I have to tell you” Why don’t you get it? Why do I have to repeat myself? Funny, the act of living seems to be more about the small things, more about the focus and details, than about the bigger pictures. Those bigger pictures command their own type of attention, but it is in the small moments where we find personal joys.
Perhaps the first step in living better is in the details. Focused living. Determined loving. And, cheerful giving. Genuine giving, the kind without condition or expectation. The kind that flies with no strings attached, and does not boast or brag or seek or need special recognitions. Rather it is modest, humble and done from the soul.
In Colossians 3:23 we are directed “whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord”. I think I understand it now. Living a grateful life. Being grateful means being focused. Living now. Breathing now. Listening now. Loving now. Not later when we’re in a better position to do it, as this or that will be done. It means making food, as if it were a sacrament and eating it the same way. The privilege of nourishing ourselves and others. How much we do with the attitude of just getting through with it or getting it over . We cannot satisfy ourselves if we continue to live that way as we will always be hungry. Always be thirsty. Always be missing something or someone. Sometimes we even make love that way. Sad isn’t it? But, what if we did do everything as unto the Lord , or our creator or whoever impresses us most in life? That would change sooo much. Imagine the focus, the detail, the effort, the pride. Even if we would just grasp for one instance part of that passion, how well we could live!
Live each day as if it were our last is wise council that we’ve all heard. Can you imagine the commitment of a day if it were so? How full it would be? Yet in our realities, for most burrowing into each day, those reflections have little substance. When submerged in dilemma however, what bitter a pill is that hindsight.
Today that mother of four cannot live moments any longer. As we trudge about doing the dishes or getting the groceries think about it. Would not her family be glad to do these simple mundane things with her once more? And if she could speak to us from her state of death would she not tell us to embrace especially the dull moments of our lives as if they were the most loved part?
So as we live another day, let us be mindful of the smells, sights, sounds of it. Relish and reside fully in the good, let us feel the disappointments even the time plainly spent waiting. Let’s look around for small gifts while we can--maybe it is in the mischievousness of a child or the gossips of a friend or jokes of an older man. Offer a smile instead of a glare to the overwhelmed mother stressed out with children in the supermarket line. She is inundated with her life. Crumbling under circumstances--she can’t see the forest or the trees. Handicapped by her ‘to do’ list. Certainly, “It will soon pass” is not a comfort! Rather, it should be a warning! Life it. Love it. Do it well–every measly bit of it.
Dedicated to the Oskam family.
Counting Our Blessings....One By One
In this "age of information", we're bombarded with endless negativity while watching television, listening to the radio, receiving e-mail and even in conversing with others. On a daily basis, we learn of government corruption, political unrest, tax increases and job losses. We're led to believe that life revolves around status, money and possessions fostering the mindset that without these, we're not good enough. We want bigger houses, newer cars, better jobs or longer vacations. The more we have or don't have, the more we want, which leaves us unhappy and always complaining; we're depressed and totally stressed in trying to achieve these goals.
How often do we complain that we're over-worked and stressed out, yet we take on more? We have a tendency to get caught-up in the "whirlwind pace of life" by putting off our involvement in things which add a positive spark to our day, like a cup of coffee with a friend, in favour of getting that mountain of laundry done. There are things which may never happen again, such as that 50th birthday party that we missed because "we had work to catch up on" or "we were too tired" or "it was too late". We end up spending the majority of our time working instead of playing or having some fun which is vital to good health and a well-rounded life. With this understanding, we can set priorities and put off what isn't really necessary at the moment. It becomes easier to offer that invitation of dinner to family or friends if we remember that it's much more important than organizing the closet or cleaning the house.
Sometimes we feel that our surroundings or material possessions aren't up to societal standards which make us feel inferior How many times do we apologize that our house is a mess when someone drops in unexpectantly? Isn't the most important thing that we're together? We seem to care so much what others think when we're vulnerable that we fail to realize there are those who only care to be with us no matter what. We must cherish what we already have to truly appreciate having any of it at all.
There are those who give thanks only in their nightly prayers and some who never do at all. Why do we find it so difficult to savour the gratefulness of the moment? Perhaps we must look inside ourselves for the answer but it's really just so simple. Life is full of unexpected disappointments that bring us down but in the midst of it all, we can look past the situation, which many times could be worse, and appreciate that it wasn't.
Unfortunately, the discontentment of our world seems infectious but there's hope in "grateful living". Consider the very root of thanksgiving celebrations throughout history where those in desperate circumstances with basic, limited resources were able to look past their situations to count their blessings; their true spirit of thankfulness was in sharing with others what they did have. It's said that "history repeats itself" and so we too can learn to find joy in the littlest of things to be happy with our station in life.
When we really look around, there's so much that we take for granted. Our families, which we cannot choose and often may not have the most ideal relationships with, will always be connected to our lives and usually love us regardless of our flaws; they support us in good times and bad. Our true friends are an extended family in the same regard. How often do we let them know how much we appreciate them and most importantly, that we love them? We must look for opportunities to let them know how we feel in the here-and-now while we can. Throughout each and every day, there are countless reasons to be grateful.
Our life has purpose because of the people in it who love us. We know we're loved because of all the special things that others do for us. We're told we're loved and hugged or kissed regularly. We had a disagreement with our spouse but were able to say sorry and set things right. We were late for an appointment because of the grocery store line-up, but have an abundance of nourishment to feed our family. We may have lost our job but can apply for unemployment insurance and use other available resources until we can find another. We have insurance through our employer to fix our teeth though we have to pay a small portion. Our child isn't an honour student but is a responsible, respectful individual. Another child spends all his time working on cars in the garage and litters the yard with parts but he's productive and doesn't get into trouble. Our hydro was out during a storm for three hours when others were without for much longer.
Yet, delving deeper into our hearts and souls, there's still more. We have the gift of life from Our Creator and a relationship that soothes our worried spirit; a warm heart that loves and gives fully; the humility not to look down upon others; compassion to help those in need during troubled times; the courage to overcome our fear of what we feel incapable of; freedom to express our individuality; the energy to accomplish all that we do in a day; hope in despair that good will come of bad; humour to laugh at life's circumstances and the human condition; the wonder of the seasons and the newness of a spring day.
The more we're thankful for…the more we'll have to be thankful for. It's looking at the glass half-full instead of half-empty. It's all about recognizing what we already have and counting our blessings…one by one.
Exercising A Gratitude Attitude
Compiling tools for becoming a more appreciative person can be an important component of living your life blissfully. As we age our lives consist of many challenges like, working a 40 hours a week - raising a family and paying bills on time or figuring out what's for supper. These can be draining and at times we end up forgetting to give back to people who have helped us. It's vital that we remember those who've been there from the beginning of our life experiences.
Here are a few exercises that will help you become a more kindhearted grateful individual.
Create a 'gratefulness' journal:
Use any sort of a notebook or the computer or whatever will influence you. Begin by listing at least five things that you're grateful for. Some examples are a new job, friends, your bank accounts and your home, your loved ones--even your health. It's imperative that we accept our gratefulness and spread kindness to others whenever possible. When completed, read them out loud every night before bedtime.
These processes will help you become more aware of your actions towards others. If you can be grateful for one person why not spread the act of kindness to others?
After a peaceful night of sleep, lie there and reflect on feelings of gratefulness and express them to your spouse:
Say "I'm thankful for a good night of rest and the ability to follow a new day of life that is presented to me." Tell your spouse and children that you're grateful to have them in your life and for their health. Incorporate some thoughts to begin to feel better about yourself too. Being grateful for oneself' isn't 'selfish it's becoming more aware of all the good in your life. Continue to appreciate others throughout your day.
Recall one or more favors of kindness extended to you :
Sit back, relax and remember those who've assisted you throughout your life. They could be family members, close friends, employers and/or teachers. Try a simple action of picking up the phone to chat or writing a letter to those people. In your journal jot down what they did for you, some examples: were there for you when you had surgery or sickness or picked up your children from school. At times we are dealt a bad-hand from someone you know--don't dwell on it. Focus on the good in others instead.
We are God's creation without him we wouldn't be here on this earth. Remember it's never too late to begin a new day.
Say a little prayer at every meal .
Whenever you sit down to eat a morsel of food, acknowledge God for what you're about to consume to where it originated. As the evening comes to an end, say a prayer for all the people that have shown you kindness throughout the day.
Let your gratitude to others linger for a long time.
Everyday try to perform 1 to 3 acts of kindness for others .
Some of these may cost a bit of money or planning, like driving a friend to a doctor's appointment, or picking them up at the airport. You could hold a door open for somebody, or pitch in a few cents if someone is short at the checkout or pick up some trash off the street. You may even remember the person who pumps your gas during the winter months by buying them a hot beverage. Spreading positive energy to others makes them and you feel better.
Remember, never take people for granted always express gratitude towards others. The word gratitude is embedded in remembrance therefore; we have to make a conscious effort to call to mind how others have helped us. If we don't do this, we forget.
Achieve one kind gesture for yourself.
Start by taking care of your body, mind and spirit. Change your eating habits by introducing a healthier approach. This is an act of gratefulness to your body. Or start by believing in yourself through the power of positive thinking then the negativity will disappear from your mind - you're making a statement of gratefulness. Not only will your energy level increase, you will have a better outlook on life. Listen to your inner voice when it speaks. Write in your "gratefulness journal" about the one pleasant thing you had performed for yourself. Read it every night before bed.
Remember it's never too late to begin a new day.
Demonstrate gratitude to those who help you especially the people you love.
We have a tendency to show a far greater appreciation to total strangers than to those closest who have helped us in countless ways. Many of us have difficulty expressing gratitude for fear that we might become dependant.
Never remind people or love ones what you've done for them, as this often provokes them in becoming angry. Family members don't want to hear about all the sacrifices you made for them. This is a number one no-no. Never expect a return on favors provided - give to others without hesitations.
Repay one person's kindness by being kind to someone else .
By the end of the week you should have at least 40 little blessings that occurred in your life. Re-read entries from your "Gratefulness Journal" before bedtime or during a commercial break or while eating your breakfast. Remember to give thanks to God for giving you life and the means to help others. Imagine your life having peace of mind, happiness and the fulfillment of gratification. You'll also enhance the loving relationship you have with your spouse and ones that you hold dear.
Gratefulness is contagious…
